


It was Never Just Subtext

by CursedorNotRemember, tiffinitie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Shipper!Sam, Sickeningly Sweet Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2642840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedorNotRemember/pseuds/CursedorNotRemember, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiffinitie/pseuds/tiffinitie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Sam and Dean left Marie’s play, Dean can’t get those silly show-tunes out of his mind. Maybe it goes more in depth than that. He can’t get a certain rebellious angel off his mind either. Siobhan and Kristen gave him a glimpse of what he could have with his angel. Dean’s just not entirely sure how to make Cas understand in his own words and Sam is about to take the matter into his own hands and get them to understand what is happening with Destiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friend, Cursedornotremember, and I have written this together. It was a lot of fun to write this with her. She is a damn good author. :) 
> 
> And we hope you enjoy it. More will be coming, hopefully soon!

After Sam and Dean’s encounter with the young ladies at the all girl’s school Dean could not manage to cease the thoughts of his feathered friend Cas, or stop the catchy show-tunes from becoming stuck in his mind. Currently he was humming “The Road So Far” under his breath.

Sam looked at him and arched his eyebrows, “You really enjoyed that musical, huh?” he asked, an amused grin forming on his lips. 

“So what if I did? The tunes were catchy.” Dean said defensively, though his cheeks were flushed in embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m not denying that. I thought it was great and more importantly, well written.” Sam said, in agreement. 

“Well, if you agree, what’s your point?” Dean asked, still on the defensive. 

“My point is, that it’s nice to see you being a dork as opposed to being….miserable.” Sam said. 

Dean snorted, “Yeah, ‘cause you’re usually Captain Friggin’ Sunshine” he added sarcastically. 

Sam rolled his eyes and smirked, “Whatever man.”

“So, uh, have you seen Cas since we got back?” Sam asked and winked at Dean.

Dean sighed heavily, “No. I haven’t, I wish I…” Dean stopped short when he noticed a giant grin wash over Sam’s face, “I mean, what? No! why would I see Cas?!”

Sam laughed.

“Shut up dude!” Dean said visibly flustered and walked away in a huff.

“If Cas stops by, should I tell him you want to see him?” Sam calls after Dean, not even trying to hide the pleasure in his voice.

“Don’t be a dick, Sam!” Dean shouted back as he kept walking away. He was headed for his room where he could be alone for a moment. 

It was not as if Dean felt angry at Sam for his constant teasing. He was more angry at himself for not even considering his feelings for Cas. It had not occurred to him just how much he cared for his feathered friend until he watched Siobhan and Kristen hugging near the front row of the auditorium. 

Dean wondered what it would feel like to hold Castiel’s hand, to ultimately be with him, or even just hold him for a moment not hug for a second, not a pat on the back. Would Castiel even be able to understand such gestures? He wasn’t sure but, he really wanted to find out. Even if it meant embarrassing himself. 

Dean sighed as he sat down onto his memory foam mattress thankful to be comfortable within his own room and on his own bed. 

While Dean was in his bed, listening to his music Sam was smiling to himself as he pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and looked down at the device. 

He scrolled through the numbers until he found Cas’, he hit dial, and took a deep breath. It rang 3 times before he heard Cas’ deep raspy voice on the other end.

“Hello Sam.”

“Hey Cas. Can you come to the bunker? Dean needs you.” Sam said, trying to hide the joy in his voice.

“What’s the matter? Is there something wrong with him?”

“No, no Cas, nothing like that. He just needs to talk to you.”

“Ok, I will be right there” 

As soon as they hung up their phones, Sam heard a flutter of feathered wings. Sam looked up with a smile on his face. He can’t believe that actually worked. Wait a minute, what was he thinking. Of course that worked. This is Cas and Dean he is talking about. They would always drop what they were doing to be with the other.

“I’m here Sam, where is Dean.”

“Uh, in his room, hang on, I will get him.”

Sam walks away, and heads toward Dean’s room. Dean’s eyes were closed, so he didn’t see Sam enter. Sam walked up to him and snapped one of Dean’s head phones. 

“What the hell Sammy?” Dean said startled.

“Hey, come out to the kitchen for a minute.”

Dean rolled his eyes, and got up to follow Sam out to the kitchen. He looks up and sees Cas standing there, with a warm smile on his face. Dean blushes and punches Sam in the arm.

“Cas, what are you doing here?” asked Dean, knowing full well why he was here.

“I do not understand. Sam said you needed to talk to me. He asked me to come.” Cas responded.

 

Dean was about to say something, but Sam interrupted him. “So, um, I am kind of hungry, and we don’t have any food in the house. I need you two to go grocery shopping. I would go, but I have to...um...research...something.” 

Dean looked skeptical “Alright, I can go.” he said.

Cas looked at Dean and smiled, his eyes lightening up at the opportunity. “I can go with you, Dean. I don’t mind.” he said. 

Dean sighed knowing that that was exactly what Sam had wanted to happen. “Fine, Cas. You can come, as long as you don’t mind that we take Baby and not do the zappy teleportation thing.” he said, trying to hide his own happiness as a small smile tugged at his lips. 

“Alright, I understand. It complicates the function of your bowels. I remember.” Cas said, completely serious. 

They finish their shopping. Dean grabbed a bunch of processed foods, nothing Sam would actually eat. But he didn’t care, he knew Sam didn’t really want food, he knew Sam was just messing with him. On their way out of the store Cas noticed a cardboard box with 4 grey and white kittens, scribbled on the side of the box was “Free to good Home.” 1 of the kittens had green eyes, one had blue and the other 2 had yellow. He looked over at Dean and said, “Can we get a kitten for the bunker?” 

“What? No we can’t get a kitten for the bunker Cas.” Dean said

Cas bent down and picked up the kitten with greens eyes, and held it up to Dean, “look Dean, this one has green eyes like you. and I have heard that cats have healing properties. They relieve stress and improve bone density, and they’re free!” said Cas trying to make his argument.

“No Cas, we are not getting a cat for the bunker. Just, no.” Dean said, becoming annoyed by Cas’ persistence. 

Cas had been bugging Dean the whole way home from the store about getting a kitten for the bunker. Dean’s voice was getting louder and more annoyed each time he had to tell Cas no. Cas just wasn’t getting it. 

Sam heard the annoyance in Dean’s voice before he heard the door open. Sam listened for where that conversation was going to stop, so he could quietly make his way and hide for the perfect moment. 

Cas and Dean stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “I just don’t understand Dean. A kitten would be good for you and Sam, and the bunker.”

“Damnit Cas, I am allergic to cats! That is why we can’t have a cat!” Dean said, the anger he had inherited from his father increasing through his blood ready to take control of him, he took a deep breath to try to lighten the anger, to hide it. Dean never wanted to be a shadow of his father, he wanted to be his own man. “You and Sam, are both terrible. You want a cat, he wants a dog. This isn’t a friggin’ zoo.” he added, trying to hide the anger with a bit of humor. 

 

Sam overhearing their conversation could help but laugh to himself, they really are an old married couple. 

“But Dean, some felines are hypoallergenic and I understand dogs need a little more care than felines. You and Sam hunt often, the animal would need to care for themselves. Unless you would take the canine everywhere. We could have both” Cas said not willing to give up the argument yet. 

“Cas, just drop it! Let it go, it’s not going to happen!” Dean argued, as his temper slipped right back out into the open again. 

Cas lifted his arms in defeat. “Fine, Dean I will as you say ‘drop it.’ Though, I believe you are missing out on a wonderful opportunity.” he said, following Dean as the walked to the library of the bunker where Sam had been, sitting at the table with his laptop with a wide grin on his face.

“Sam don’t you-” Dean began to say but he was cut off by Sam.

“DeanCas….” Sam said clearly more amused by their argument as opposed to worried, or awkward by it. 

 

Cas narrowed his bright ocean blue eyes in confusion. “Why is he saying our names like that?” he asked 

 

“Because, he’s Sam and he says things that make no sense…” Dean said, glaring maliciously at Sam. 

 

“Because Cas, Dean..” Sam started, but Dean rushed Cas out of the library. 

“Uh, Cas go watch some tv or something. I need to speak to my brother.” Dean said tossing the remote to the t.v. to Cas.

Cas caught the remote and looked at Dean, the look of utter confusion never leaving his face. “Alright.” he said, and he went to sit down pressing the power button on the remote and clicking through the channels. 

Dean walked back into the library red faced and ready to have a few words with Sam. 

“Dude! You need to drop it! “ he said full of anger. 

“And you, need to tell him how you feel. “ Sam replied arching his eyebrows at Dean. 

“How I feel?! what do you mean how I feel? I don’t feel anything!” Dean said, trying to convince himself, and even more so Sam. But he knew it wasn’t working. 

“If you didn’t feel anything at all, you wouldn’t be getting so defensive.” Sam said matter-of-factly. 

Dean just rolled his eyes and walked out of the library to go join Cas in front of the t.v. “what are you watching?” Dean asked as he slumped onto the couch next to Cas.

“Uh, I am not sure. But there are 6 annoying people living in one house somewhere in Italy. And they are all fighting with each other. And one who refers to himself as ‘The Situation’ slammed his head into a wall.” Cas said staring curiously at the television.

“Oh no man, we aren’t watching this crap.” Dean says as he tries to wrestle the remote away from Cas.

“No Dean! I would like to watch this. You asked me to come watch t.v. and that is what I am doing. We are going to watch this.” Cas fired back, moving the remote out of Dean’s reach.

Sam wondered into the room while Cas and Dean were fighting about the remote and what to watch on t.v. “CasDean” he said, smiling, and walked towards his room.

“Bitch.” Dean said clearly as he watched Sam walk by.

“Jerk” Sam responded from down the hall.

“Why does he keep saying our names in that way Dean? I don’t understand.” 

“Uh, it’s nothing Cas, watch your show.”

Part of Dean wanted to tell him, but a bigger part didn’t. Dean had never been one to talk about his feelings, especially these kinds of feelings. 

“I can’t pay attention to it Dean, what’s going on here?” Cas asked, pressing the issue further, at this point his curiosity was eating away at him. He needed to know what was going on between Sam and Dean. He felt like they were leaving him out of something. 

“Cas, seriously it’s not important.” Dean said, exhausted from all the arguing going on. 

“Fine. I won’t press further. I can tell that you could use some rest.” Cas said, feeling guilty for being part of Dean’s stress.

Dean couldn’t hide the blush or the shock from his face. “Uh...r-right…” he said. 

“If you want to sleep, I can wait here for you.” Cas said looking completely serious, his eyes wide and eager to please Dean and do exactly what Dean wanted him to. 

“Cas! No! Do whatever man!” Dean said turning an even deeper shade of red. 

“Dean? Are you well? You look warm.” Cas said narrowing his eyes as he stared at Dean. 

“I’m fine Cas. Really…I think I will go lay down. But, you-you don’t have to wait for me...” Dean says as he jumps up off the couch and hurries to his room.

Once Dean had left and Cas heard his door shut, Cas took this as his opportunity to go speak to Sam about what is going on between the two of them, or more specifically with Dean.

Cas knocked lightly on Sam’s door. “Um, Sam...are you decent?” he asked awkwardly. 

“Uh, sure Cas come in.” Sam said, he was sitting on his bed with a book in his lap, as Cas walked in. 

Cas stood just barely inside the room. “Will you be honest with me? Why do you keep saying ‘DeanCas’ and ‘CasDean’ ? And why is Dean so troubled by it?” he asked. 

Sam snorted back a laugh and looked amused. “You realize, he’ll kill us both if I tell you?” he asked.

“Your brother may be a bit rough around the edges but, he would never kill us. Well, he might try to or come very close. Though he would never go through with it.” Cas said thoughtfully. 

“Ok, no he wouldn’t kill us, Cas. But he might be very angry with me if I told you...Although, it might be fun to get a rise out of him. Break the tension a bit.” Sam stopped and thought of how he could get Dean to confess his feelings.

“I know! Go into Dean’s room and tell him you know what is troubling him. And tell him you want to talk about it.” Sam said as an evil grin washed over his face. 

“Sam, I don’t want to lie to your brother. Why can’t you tell me what is going on?” Cas asked, slowly losing his patience.

“Because, I think it would be more appropriate if Dean told you himself. Listen Cas, I know I’ve been teasing the subject a lot but, if anyone should tell you what’s going on, it’s him.” Sam said more seriously. 

“You’re both being aggravating but, fine. I will try it your way but, I don’t like it.” Cas said sounding defeated. He turned around in an almost graceful way, as his trenchcoat flowed behind him as he headed to Dean’s room.

When he made it to the door into Dean’s room he stood there staring at it for a long moment. Contemplating if it was something he really wanted to do or not. He could just let the whole thing go. This whole situation was just over some silly word play anyways. 

“Maybe I will wait until Dean is feeling better and is in a better mood before I ask. If I ask.” Cas thought to himself. And he turned away from Dean’s door, and headed back to the couch where he was watching t.v. He eventually settled on some cartoons, the cartoon with the coyote that constantly chased around the oddly proportioned purple and blue bird.

Cas had all but forgotten about the events earlier when Dean had made his way back out to where he was. 

“Alright man, now this I can get into, Wylie Coyote and the Roadrunner,” Dean said as he patted Cas on the back and made his way around the couch to sit next to Cas.

Cas didn’t seem to notice Dean walking in and sitting down next to him. He didn’t even move when Dean patted him on the back. Dean looked over at him and noticed that he was deep in thought. Cas wasn’t focused on the events happening on the t.v.

“Hey man, you ok? Cas...man. Talk to me.” Dean said shaking Cas gently.

Cas blinked, coming back to the present. “Oh sorry Dean. I’m ok. I was just thinking.”

“Thinking about what Cas. Must have been important. You were really far away” Dean asked, concern filling his green eyes, pleading Cas to tell him where his mind took him.

“Dean….” Cas started and stopped short, trying to figure out the right phrasing of his words, carefully choosing each word, choosing the right ones that wouldn’t annoy Dean, or make him shut down. “Dean..”

Sam was on his way to the library to return the book he was reading before Cas came to talk to him, when he saw Dean and Cas sitting on the couch gazing into each other’s eyes, as they have done so many times before. He seized the opportunity. Now was his chance. 

He bounces into the room, “Destiel! How’s my favorite couple?!” he says with a giant smile on his face.

Dean glared up at him, “Dude, not now.” 

“That...that is what I was thinking about Dean. The way Sam is saying our names, and your annoyance with it. I am trying to understand that, and why neither one of you will explain to me what it means.” Cas said, sadness and defeat in his eyes.

Dean looked at him, his heart breaking at his friend being so desperate to know.

“Look Cas, I am sorry. I thought you had talked to Dean after you came and talked to me. I am just teasing Dean, and I am using you to do so. I am sorry. I will stop. I thought it was a lot funnier than it actually was.” Sam said, his puppy dog eyes searching Cas’ face for some forgiveness.

Cas looks at Sam, a warm smile comes across his face, “Ok Sam, I forgive you. I see now you just needed to lighten the mood in the bunker after everything that has happened. And I am happy I got to be a part of the joke, even though I didn’t know I was in on it.” 

“Well, now that this has all been settled let’s get back to these cartoons shall we. I love Wylie Coyote.” Dean said, breathing a sigh of relief. And he sat back against the couch, patted Cas on the knee and got lost in the show.

Cas did the same, turned back to the t.v. and started watching the cartoon again, letting out a little laugh every time the coyote’s contraptions fail on the road runner, but works on him.

Sam too, sat back in the chair he was sitting in, but he wasn’t watching the coyote walk away angry, bouncing up and down making accordion noises as he leaves the screen.

Sam was thinking about a new way to get these two grown 5 year olds to discuss their feeling. Maybe an intervention. He could put up a giant banner with the word spelled out a cross it. He could write out a letter explaining how they constantly make heart-eyes at one another thus making him feel sick. Or! He could just lock them up in a room together, and tell them he was going to leave them there until they talk to each other. One of those had to work. Because this, he looked over at them sitting close to each other on the couch, needs to be addressed.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam kept watching them, staring in disbelief. Were those two really that thick headed? The two of them were ever-so -slightly leaning towards one another as they watched the screen. Sam could not deal with it a moment longer, it was bothering him so much just by watching the two of them. 

“Alright, no we can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” Sam said, he got up and grabbed the remote which Cas had left unattended on the arm of the couch and turned off the t.v. 

“Seriously Sam? What can’t you do?” Dean asked in annoyance. He got up and tried to snatch the remote out of Sam’s hand, but Sam lifted it so that it was out of his reach. 

“Friggin’ Sasquatch. “ Dean grumbled. 

“I can’t handle you and Cas sitting there, practically cuddled up with one another like two high school love interests and not doing anything about it. It’s painful to ME. I can’t understand how you two can sit there and act like it’s no big deal.” Sam said ready to pull his own hair out, and he didn’t want to do that. He was pretty fond of his hair. 

Cas tipped his head as he looked at Sam. “Your brother and I we weren’t cuddling. I don’t understand what you mean.” he said. 

“Basically, Sam’s trying to say is we’re acting like we have a crush on each other…which we don’t. This isn’t middle school” Dean said defensively. 

“Are you sure it isn’t Dean? You’re acting like a little kid who just got outed about his crush on someone.” Sam said arching his eyebrows as he looked at his brother. 

“I am not!” Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest exactly like a young child would do. 

Cas stood by watching the both of them still looking utterly confused. “Dean…” he said, a little too quietly for either brother to break eye-contact, Dean looking angered while Sam was willing to back-up his point. 

“Sam…” Dean said after a long moment of silence and intense eye-glaring. “I just...I need to figure this all out my own way. It’s not easy and I need you to grin and bear it. Please, Sammy.” he added sincerely

Sam sighed. “Whatever, just acknowledge it at least. I’m not saying jump into a relationship. Just do something- anything.” he said. 

“Dean….” Cas said, a bit louder this time. “What are you two talking about?! What ‘relationship’?”

“Cas, it’s nothing. Just let it go. You too Sam.” Dean said, anger starting to fill his voice.

Sam looked at Cas, and then back at Dean, he then rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

Dean looked over at Cas and saw all the confusion and anger in his face. “Look Cas, I’m sorry I got angry. I….I’m just not ready to talk about this, with anyone. Not just you.”

“But you have talked to Sam.”

“Cas, no I haven’t. Sam is making assumptions. And trying to annoy me.” Dean said softly, trying to comfort Cas, willing him to leave it alone

“I have a right to know. Dean, it involves me.” Cas said firmly.

“Cas. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to get my thoughts in order. I need to think about this myself for a bit. I will talk to you when I feel the time is right.” Dean said sounding more firm.

“Ok Dean. Fine. I won’t press the matter anymore.” And with the sound of feathers fluttering, Cas was gone.

“You hurt his feelings.” Sam spoke, as he shook his head.

“Yeah, well you were the one that had to be a dick about it by bringing it up every friggin’ minute.” Dean said in annoyance. Though, he hid the fact that it actually bothered him that Cas had left the way he did. He wanted to explain to him why he was being so closed off about the whole situation. He just didn’t know how. John Winchester did anything but teach his sons about self expression. 

Dean found himself wondering just how his father would react to him and Cas. If it would ever come to play. He found himself doubting it would now that Cas had taken off. Dean did not have to wonder about it long, he knew it would never be something that John would find acceptable.

Not only was Cas a creature John would consider a monster. Cas identified as male, and his father was many things, and none of those things would be considered as accepting of same-sex couples. Dean had always found himself attracted to men, it was true he checked out men just as often as he checked out women but, he knew he couldn’t outright say it. Not without a firm ass-kicking from John. 

Cas was different though, it went further than just attraction, he was drawn to the angel in an indescribable way. It wasn’t like he was going to get all Bella Swan over him but, it was a powerful feeling something he obviously had difficulty hiding. 

It had been a few days since Cas left like he did. And, Sam could see that Dean was upset by it. Dean missed his angel, even though Dean wouldn’t admit to anything. But Sam knew. Sam noticed Dean was more quiet than usual, and stayed most nights in his room listening to music. He didn’t even want to hunt. Sam invited him out to bars to hustle some unknowing goons at pool, invited him out to strip clubs. Everything Sam didn’t like doing, but knew Dean did, and Dean always turned him down. Opting to just lay on his bed and listen to his music and clean his guns.

Sam would have given anything to get Cas to come back, and he doubted that the angel would come back willing at that point he knew he could summon Cas. Even though summoning him thus, forcing the angel to come might just anger him. Sam sighed feeling utterly hopeless as he just wished the angel would come back on his own. The silence between Sam and his brother was slowly eating away at him and he hated it. He just wanted his brother to forgive him at least and be done with that. Or for Dean to just come out of his room and say that he found a case and that it was time to suit up. 

Dean never came out though not really, he never returned to his usual self. He would go to the kitchen for food and sometimes would ask Sam simple questions like where certain things were, or if Sam wanted to eat something too. This went on for another couple days, until one day things changed.

Dean came up behind Sam and patted him on the back enthusiastically, startling Sam who jumped at least an inch off of his chair. “Let’s go! Let’s ditch this place. I’ve been stuck in this place way too damn long!” Dean said as if he hadn’t been spending about a week in seclusion. 

“Um, alright. Where do you want to go?” Sam asked, he didn’t want to question where Dean’s sudden change of mood came from. He was too relieved about it.   
“Anywhere, as long as I can make plenty of mistakes. Preferably a bar, plenty of women and booze. “ Dean said smiling, hiding any traces of pain he was feeling. He was just hoping the booze and the women would make him forget the whole ordeal with Cas. He knew though, that if he just prayed for him the angel would come back at a moments notice. Dean couldn’t do that, he couldn’t beg for Cas to come back and he wasn’t going to. If Cas wanted to come back he would and Dean would be happy about it but, begging wasn’t something Dean did. 

“Alright, Dean. There’s a few bars that aren’t that far. Just in case we get too wasted and need to walk back.” Sam said smiling and shaking his head. “If you’re sure this is what you really wanna do.” he added, in concern. 

“Yes, Sam. I’m sure. This is what I want. It’s what I need, to just go out and be myself for a minute.” Dean said. Part of Dean did feel like he needed just a little bit of a break. To wind down, to just let go. 

It wasn’t much long after that Dean found himself leaning up against the bar counter, he playfully winked at the pretty bartender when he got her attention. The bartender seemed all too eager to take his order, like a moth taking to a flame. Either that or she played cute bartender really well in order to get tips. It wasn’t important, Dean wasn’t there to question the woman’s intentions. 

Sam watched from the table they were sitting at in awe of how quickly Dean could just forget everything he was feeling. Sam wondered if Cas could see Dean right now, and the way he was acting. He was almost certain if Dean did anything tonight, he would regret it the next day. Sam honestly didn’t think this is really want Dean wanted. 

Dean winked one last time at the waitress before heading over to the table Sam sat at holding two beers in his hands he placed one of the beers in front of Sam seemingly cheerful. “Drink up Sammy!” he said 

 

Sam laughed awkwardly. He wanted to confess his thoughts about the way Dean was acting, yet he was still conflicted. Dean was in the very least attempting to be happy. Even if it was without Cas but , was it worth what he was doing to himself in the process? Forgetting about Cas. Sam was overwhelmed with fear for his brother and the possible outcomes of his actions.

“Come on cheers me!” Dean said enthusiastically he reached his bottle up in the direction of Sam’s. Sam touched his bottle to Dean’s without the same enthusiasm that his brother had and only took a sip from his own bottle while Dean practically chugged the entire contents of his own. 

 

Dean went through several bottles of beer before he began to look depressed, the mask slowly being removed from his face. 

“I just don’t understand why he left… I don’t know how to deal with this Sam. I don’t know how to be like you. How to be open about my feelings. When it comes down to it, I’m this shadow of who Dad was and he wasn’t good at this kinda crap either.” Dean said as he stared at his most recent bottle, which was nearly empty. 

“Who?” Sam asked, even though he knew the answer.

“You know who, Sam. You have been teasing me about it ever since we got back from that play.” Dean said, looking up from his bottle, glaring at Sam.

A small smirk slid across Sam’s face. “Look, I’m sorry man. That was my fault. I was trying to push you into something you weren’t ready for. And, in doing so I made Cas angry. Especially when neither of us wanted to tell him what was going on. It was a ‘monkey in the middle’ situation.”

“You’re damn right it was your fault Sam. None of this would have happened if you had just kept your mouth shut. I would have continued living my life blissfully unaware. Cas would probably be here right now. Instead, I am feeling too many things, I am in a bar with you, and not going home with that cute bartender over there.” Dean said as he looked over to the bartender. She winked at him and gave a coy smile. He just shook his head and looked away. “Damnit Sam. We have to get him back”

“Really? Are you ready to have that conversation? I mean, you won’t even have it with me, let alone your honey bunny,” Sam said, trying not to laugh at his own joke.

“To be honest, I’m not sure it’s something I can be ready for. I mean, these feeling things are something you really can’t prepare yourself for. You just gotta rip the bandaid off…” Dean said sounding thoughtful, he drank what was left of his bottle.

“Yeah, you kinda just have to say it outright. It’s not like a presentation speech, where you can rehearse it because you have to be open with your feelings and sometimes putting them into words is something you just can’t prepare for.” Sam said nodding his head. 

“So, if I just.. call out to him. You think he’ll come back?” Dean asked smiling weakly at Sam. 

Sam snorted. “How many times has he came for you when you called for him? Despite personal feelings at said time? Do you really have to ask?” he asked arching his eyebrows at Dean. 

“I guess not. Yeah, that was stupid” Dean said, he started giggling “I’m stupid.” he added through fits of giggles. 

“Dean, we really should get you back home.” Sam said, shaking his head a bit. 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever mom. Let’s go home. I miss mom…” Dean said, trailing off subject a bit as Sam sighed and helped Dean get back to the bunker in one piece. 

It took them a little longer to walk back to the bunker than Sam had thought, of course as drunk as Dean was, it was hard to get him to walk without tripping over everything. Sam was relieved once they made it back , and even more so once they were out front of the door to Dean’s room. 

“Alright well Sammy I’m gonna give it a try.” Dean said, he grinned at Sam as he spoke the stumbled into his room, where he sat on his bed 

“Are you sure man? You don’t wanna sleep off your 7 beers first? So you don’t sound like an idiot?” Sam asked, knowing full well that Dean wouldn’t wait. He has his liquid courage in him, and that is the only way he can muster up the balls to talk about his feelings.

“Shut up man! I’m gonna do this. I am ready right now. If I don’t do it now, I may never have the balls again.” Dean said, trying to sound angry, but excitement came through instead. “Now shut the door! I can’t have you watching.”


	3. Chapter 3

Sam just stood there looking at him from the doorway for a moment. “Um.. just don’t be stupid Dean.” he said, sounding more concerned than insulting. 

“I will do fineeeee, it’s Cas. The dude likes me.” Dean said, “Now shut the friggin’ door.” he added.

Sam shook his head not being able to stop himself from smiling as he shut Dean’s bedroom door. 

Dean settled himself on his bed, trying to muster up the last little bit of courage he needed. He put his hand in his lap, lowered his head and closed his eyes tight, “Cas? Cas, it’s me. Can you, um...I need to talk to you.” Dean opened one eye to look around and see if Cas was there. He wasn’t. “Come on Cas. It’s important. Please? I am sorry about earlier. I want to explain.”

Cas appeared in the corner of the room with his arms across his chest in a child-like manner, “I’m here Dean. What do you need to talk to me about? I hope it’s a matter of importance.” he said narrowing his eyes into a firm glare. 

Dean looked at him, and sighed. “Cas.” he whined “Don’t be like that. Don’t be all pissed off. I’m sorry I’ve been keeping things from you.” he added, his voice strained with guilt. 

 

Cas uncrossed his arms, letting them fall at his side as he looked at Dean with a more softer expression. “I’m sorry I left the way I did.”

“It’s ok man. I understand why you did. And that’s what I want to talk to you about.” Dean responded, the softness in his voice surprising even himself. “Cas man, I have been having…..feelings. These feelings...for…”

A loud bang on the other side of Dean’s interrupted Dean, followed by Sam saying, “Dammit.” 

“what the hell was that?” Dean turned and yelled through the door.

“Uh, no-nothing. I, uh, dropped my book. Sorry! Don’t mind me.” Sam stuttered.

Dean rushed to the door and opened it. “what the hell man. You were listening through the door. Seriously?!”

“No i wasn’t, I really dropped my book.” Sam said holding a book in front of Dean’s face, and innocent grin spread across his face. “Hey Cas.” Sam added in a sing-song voice, then looked back at Dean, “So, how’s it going? You tell him yet?”

“No….I haven’t. I was in the middle of my sentance when there was a bang outside my door. Interrupting me, and ruining the moment.” Dean snapped.

“Right, um...sorry.” Sam said he held the book tightly in his arm , keeping it close to his chest. “So, I’ll be in the library… where I can’t interrupt...anything.” he added but he stood there staring at Dean. 

“Well, go.” Dean said staring back at him his eyes widened as he stared in a mocking manner. 

Sam smirked and walked away. Dean slowly shut the door, and stood there for a minute, his back to Cas. Wondering if Sam just had ruined the moment for him, could Dean still tell Cas how he feels? Or has the moment passed?

Screw it Dean thought, and turned back around to look at Cas. “Uh, sorry for that interruption. So, um….what I wanted to say to you….why I called you here….I uh….” Dean’s voice cracked and fell away. 

Cas looked into Dean’s eyes with worry and he grasped his shoulder. “Whatever it is Dean, you can say it. You seem to be under a great amount of stress because of the words you’re holding back.” he said.

Dean took a long and deep sigh, “I have feelings Cas….I have never had feelings like these before. And, it is hard for me to put them into words, or even admit to myself and others that I have them.”

Cas looked confused. “You’re human Dean, of course you have feelings. I can imagine sometimes they’re hard to deal with. I don’t understand why you would have kept such trivial things from me.” he replied as he pulled his hand away from Dean’s shoulder. 

 

Dean sighed, he should have figure Cas would not grasp the concept of what he was trying to explain. The angel wasn’t a genius when it came to feeling, or human things in general, but there was progress for certain. “Cas, I mean… -I mean you. I have feelings for you …” he said.

“Yes, Dean I know you said once that we were like family.” Cas said nodding his head.

“No, Cas. I was an idiot then, it’s much more than that.” Dean replied gazing into Cas’ eyes, not wanting to be the first one to blink or look away.

Cas was still confused. He did not understand what Dean was referring too. “I don’t understand Dean. What do you mean?” 

“Cas, I mean, I have feelings for you.” Dean said grabbing Cas’ hand. He looked in to Cas’ eyes realizing he had to break it down a bit more, and chuckled to himself. He thought it was cute that he had to explain to Cas what he meant as if speaking to a child. “Cas’ I like you. A lot” 

Cas’ looked at him, eyes narrowing at first, trying to make sense of what Dean had just said, the his eye got big, the blue lightning. “Oh, you mean like the feelings you had for Lisa?”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Yes Cas, like Lisa. Well...more than Lisa.” 

Cas just stared at Dean, not saying a word. Dean immediately regretted his decision is letting Cas know his feelings. Why would Cas like him, he was damaged. How could Cas share these feelings, Cas is still an angel. He has come a lot way from the first time they met, but he is still an angel. Do angels even feel love, this kind of love? What had he done? he thought to himself.

After a few moments, Cas’ stare softened. “Dean...I, I don’t know what to say. What is the proper etiquette in this situation?”

“Uh, don’t worry about it Cas, you don’t have to say anything. We can even pretend nothing was ever said if that makes you feel better.” Dean said wishing he could take it all back. How can anyone love him, especially an angel. His angel. Dean chuckled to himself and shook his head.

Cas lowered his gaze, in an attempt to get his thoughts and feelings sorted out. “I...I don’t think I can word it as you did, Dean. Though, I think you should know… “ he said, then he took a long pause before looking back at Dean. “That everything I did, it was always to protect you… to save you. If that does not show you how much I...care for you. I don’t know what else would.” he added, looking at Dean in worry, not sure his words would ever be enough or, as straight forward as Dean needed them to be. 

“Cas..do...do you mean you have feelings for me too? Is that what you are trying to say? I mean, I don’t want to be presumptuous...but is that what you are saying?” Dean asked, hope filling his voice, a small smile spreads across his face.

“Uh, yes Dean. That is what I am trying to say.”

“Oh thank god! Finally!” Sam voice sounding muffled from behind the door. 

“SAM!” Dean yelled, trying to sound angry.

“Haha! Oops. I will leave now” Sam chuckled, and walked away from the door.

Cas watched as Sam left, again watching the doorway for a moment. “Sam, he...is -he supports the idea of us..I mean your feelings...for me?” he asked, slowly getting the words to come out. 

Dean snorted. “Why else do you think he’s been more annoying than usual? He’s been trying to make me tell you.” he said

“How has he been more annoying than usual? the only thing I noticed was…” Cas stopped mid sentence and looked at Dean wide blue eyes sparkling. A feisty smile spread across his face when he realized what Sam was talking about with all the names. “Oh.” Cas looks at Dean, with so much happiness and love in his eyes.

Dean blushed, as he appeared taken aback for a moment. “So...uh. You feel the same way. How do should we approach this? How do we….” Dean’s voice trailed off trying to form the question properly in his head. 

“Are we supposed to-” Cas began to say, as he gazed into Dean’s eyes. He was cut off by Sam’s abrupt entrance into the room yet again. 

“For God’s sake just make-out already!” Sam said, in clear annoyance. 

Dean had nothing to say to Sam as he stared back at Cas, licking his own lips then smirking. He eventually shrugged his shoulders. He slowly walked over to Cas and grabbed his hands, “Are you ready? Are you ok with this?”

“Dean I have kissed someone before. I am not naive.” Cas said staring into Dean’s eyes, almost willing Dean to grab him. He stayed there staring and when he realized Dean wasn’t going to take the initiative he kissed Dean instead, it was just a quick simple kiss on the lips, he pulled back a few inches from Dean’s face  
and looked at him waiting for a reaction. Wondering if he had pleased Dean with his actions. 

Dean stared into his angels warm blue eyes for a few wordless minutes. Then he saw the small look of panic rush over Cas’ face and he knew he had to react before Cas starts to regret what he just did. He cupped Cas’ face in his hands and slowly brought him in for another kiss. This one being deeper and longer.

Leave it to the kid brother to interrupt a tender moment. Sam started clapping and cheer from the doorway. He walked over and put his arms around Dean and Cas and asked, “So, now what CasDean? Do I get to help plan the wedding? Can I be the best man?”

“Dammit Sam. You kind of ruined the moment.” Dean said trying to hide his smile. “Can you leave us alone for like 2 minutes man?”

The next few days passed with stolen kisses, and cuddling. When Cas spent the evenings at the bunker, he would sit himself in front of the t.v, not wanting to creep out Dean with his hovering. Dean wanted to take things slow. He had never done that before, but he thought there could be something real here, and he didn’t want to mess anything up.

One evening they were all sitting in the living room watching one of Cas’ favorite movies, and Sam looked over at the two men on the couch noticing them holding hands, sitting close to each other, and Sam beamed with happiness. He was so happy for his brother, Dean hadn’t been this happy in a long time, and Sam loved it. 

Whenever Dean and Cas held hands, every so often Cas would bring up Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing his hand softly. Almost as if he would break Dean’s skin if he was too rough with him. 

Sam watched the two of them, his smile widening. “You sure you two aren’t ready to be married? You know, Dean you won’t be young forever.” he said. 

“Shut up Sam. No one is talking about rings. Not now…” Dean said rolling his eyes at Sam, then turning his attention back to the movie. 

Sam giggled, and turned his attention back to the tv. Cas looked between Sam and Dean with a look of slight confusion. “married? Dean and I?” 

Dean groaned “Sam, don’t. Mom and Dad got married and look how well it was for them.” he said. Not only his parents deaths came to mind, but their fights did as well. He remembered all the times he had to console his mother as a small child, always putting her needs before his own. He had to shake his head to attempt to get the memories away. 

“Oh shut up. You’re using our parents as an example of what all marriages are like? I’m pretty sure theirs was the opposite of all marriages, or at least most of them.” Sam said trying to put some ease to his brother’s worries. 

“I thought your parents were happily married?” Castiel asked, tipping his head the way he always did when he was confused. “I was under the impression they were in love with one another?” he added, his curiosity only growing. 

“Just because two people love each other, doesn’t mean they won’t fight like cats and dogs when in the same room with one another.” Dean said, he sighed and clicked off the t.v. Then he looked at Cas. “Just don’t worry about it. I’m gonna turn in. Alright?” he asked, moving to kiss Cas but, Cas was too mixed up in his own thoughts to return the kiss in time. 

Dean was already on his way to his room when Cas got up and followed after him. “Dean, wait.” he called after him. Dean stopped and turned to face the angel. “Yeah, Cas?” he said. 

“I know that you don’t approve of me watching over you. But, I was wondering if you would...allow me to lay with you?” Cas asked, awkwardly looking down at the ground. 

A small smile spread across Dean’s lips, and his eyes sparkled. “Of course you can Cas”, Dean held his hand out inviting Cas to grab it, and he led them down the hall to his room.

Dean stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and hopped into bed. Cas watched from the corner, and he made his way over to the bed. He was about to lay down with Dean when Dean interrupted. “You’re going to lay down here in clothes and trench coat? You sure that is going to be comfortable?” he asked, arching his eyebrows. 

“I uh, I suppose you make a good point.” Cas said looking down at his trench coat then slowly slipping out of it, and hanging it over a chair in Dean’s room. He slowly started to unbutton is shirt, and slid it off. He went for the buckle to his pants and hesitated.

Seeing the nervousness in Cas’ face Dean said, “Hey Cas, if you’re not comfortable with getting down to your boxers its ok. I have pj pants in the dresser over there,” and he pointed to the distressed wood dresser on the wall next to the door. “And you can change in the bathroom across the hall.” he said. 

Cas stared at him. “No, no it’s fine.” he said as he unbuckled his pants and slid out of them, letting the pants fall to the ground then stepping out of them, pulling them off of him using his feet. 

Dean couldn’t help but watch Cas undress. “Cas, you’re beautiful, do you know that?” he asked smiling at him. Dean chuckled to himself, he had never said anything like to anyone before, let alone a male, angel. 

Cas blushed “I- um..Thank you Dean.” he said. He slowly made his way over to the bed, and sat down. Cas gathered his thoughts, and laid on his side next to Dean. Dean pulled the covers over the both of them, and curled up into Cas’ back. “Good night Cas,” he said as he gently kissed Cas’ cheek. He laid his head back on his pillow, and draped one arm over Cas’ hip, pulling him closer and quickly fell asleep.

“Good night, Dean.” Cas said, a little while after Dean was already fast asleep. He enjoyed Dean’s warmth against his back it made him comfortable. Feeling Dean’s warm breath against his skin. Though Cas couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward as he stared at the wall. Angels didn’t require sleep though, it didn’t mean he couldn’t sleep. He debated if he should or shouldn’t slip into Dean’s dreams, just to give himself something to do. With that he made the choice to peek into Dean’s dreams certain that it would cause no harm. 

_**What Cas had seen made his heart beat falter for a moment. Dean was out front of a decent sized white house, surrounded by a white picket fence, he was mowing the lawn sloppily but he had a smile on his face. For a moment, Cas worried that Dean’s dreams did not involve him at all. That possibly the dream involved Dean and Lisa. The woman- Lisa could give him so much more than Cas could. Especially if Dean dreamt of having a family. A house, with a nice yard couldn’t be the only thing Dean wanted.**_

_**Cas could not have been more wrong when Dean looked at him with a wide smile on his face. As if Cas held the moon and stars in his arms.**_

_**“Hey! I thought you were getting pie!” Dean shouted over the sounds of the lawn mower.**_

_**Cas looked down at his own empty hands, blushing profusely. “I - I um forgot.” He said quietly.**_

_**“What?! Speak up!” Dean shouted again, still trying to be louder than the lawn mower. Shortly after speaking he decided to cut the lawn mower’s power. Dean leaned over the lawn mower as he looked at Cas, a smile widening on his face. “Say that again, angel?” he asked in a much softer tone.**_

_**“I forgot.” Cas said, he lowered his gaze, staring at his own shoes as if examining them thoroughly.**_

_**“Someone always forgets the pie.” Dean said adding a sigh to his obvious disappointment. Dean noticed the disappointed look on Cas’ face and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around Cas and pulled him in for a hug. “It’s ok, we will both go get some pie. Let me just finish up the lawn and we can head out.”**_

_**Cas looked passed Dean shoulder and saw the Cas from Dean’s dream walking with a pie in his hand. “Uh, no, it’s ok. I will go. You stay here. I will be back before you know it.” And with the fluttering sound of feathers Cas was gone, hiding behind a tree.**_

_**Cas peeked around the tree to watch this dream version of himself with Dean. He couldn’t help but smile as he watched Dean happily take the pie, forgetting about the lawn mower completely as he took the pie in on hand, and taking Cas’ hand with the other and leading Dream Cas inside.**_

_**Cas wanted to follow them both, but he had decided not to. He had seen enough to realize that he was what made Dean the happiest. That everything else in the dream were minor details and even though they were all nice things, the only thing that really mattered to Dean was Cas himself.**_

When Cas left the dream, hours had actually passed. Dean didn’t seem to be waking anytime soon as he mumbled “Cas” in his sleep, which sent a warmth and happiness throughout Cas’ body. 

Cas looked at the clock, it was pretty close to about the time Dean usually wakes up, so he took this opportunity to do something for Dean. He quickly hopped out of bed, careful not to wake Dean and he made his way to the kitchen. He was going to make breakfast in bed for Dean. He remembered the time Dean told him about the “Pig in a Poke” and he really wanted to make that, but, he didn’t quite know what that was, so he settled for fluffy golden brown pancakes, crispy applewood bacon, sausage, toast and some coffee. 

Sam wandered into the kitchen as Cas was finishing up the presentation of food on a tray for Dean. “Hey man, how was last night?” he asked wiping sleep from his eyes.

“It was enlightening, Sam. I….got to see what makes Dean happy.” Cas said, his heart skipping a beat as he remembered the look on Dean’s face when he say Cas. 

“Oh yea?” Sam asked, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. “And what makes Dean happy?” A mischievous grin spreading across his face.

“Sam….I know what you are implying, and that is not what I mean. You mustn’t tell Dean what I am about to tell you. Ok?” Cas asked, eyes narrowing at Sam.

“Yea man. I promise.” Sam said, with a tiny bit of laughter escaping from his lips.

“Well, as you know,” Cas started, hesitantly, “I do not require sleep. So, I took that opportunity to enter Dean’s dreams. And what I saw was magical. He dreamt of a perfect house, with a white picket fence, and…” he stopped for a second, reliving the feeling, “me. He dreamt he lived in that perfect house with me.” Cas smiled from ear to ear.

“Ok, Cas, first of all. I am glad you are happy. Both of you deserve all your happiness. You two have been through so much. And second, Gross” Sam said as a giant smile engulfed his face. 

“Cas? Hey Cas where’d you go?” Dean yelled from down the hall.

“Uh, coming Dean. Stay there. I will be right there.” Cas yelled back at Dean. Cas started to walk away balancing the tray on his hands. 

“What man? I don’t get any breakfast? I was the matchmaker!” Sam joked. 

 

Cas looked back as Sam, rolled his eyes, and snapped his fingers. Pancakes, bacon, sausage, and coffee appeared on the table in front of Sam. “Happy?” Cas asked, and walked towards Dean’s room.

Dean was standing outside his room, still in just his boxers as he watched Cas approach him with the tray of food. 

“Dean, you were supposed to stay in bed. I wanted to surprise you.” Cas said pouting at Dean. 

“Well, i wouldn’t be so disappointed if I were you. You succeeded in surprising me..” Dean said as he grabbed the tray from Cas with one arm and swung the other arm around Cas’ shoulders. Dean lead Cas back out to the kitchen where Sam was finishing up his breakfast. 

Sam looked up from his now empty plate with a huge smile on his face, “Damn Cas. That was the best breakfast I have had in a LONG time. Thanks man.”

“You’re welcome Sam. I am glad you liked it.” Cas said, starting to blush.

“Dean man, you are definitely going to want to marry Cas after you bite into that breakfast there. Trust me.” Sam said with an endearing smile on his face, as he winked at Cas.

Dean just rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what Sam was meaning. Dean placed the tray down on the table, he pulled out a chair for Cas before he sat down in his own chair.

Cas blushed profusely at Sam’s comment, and sat down in the chair Dean had pulled out for him. He could not help but to stare anxiously at Dean, waiting for him to sit down and take a bite of his food. 

Dean sat down, then looked at Cas. “Relax… man and don’t stare. It’s not polite to stare while someone is eating Cas.” he said, smirking a bit, eager to add to Cas’ nervousness just to watch him squirm. He just found it cute when a strong, angelic soldier got nervous. Or at least when it happened to be Cas. 

“R-right. Of course… “ Cas said choosing to stare at the wall opposite him. 

“Dean, you’re being rude, just eat your food” Sam said rolling his eyes. 

Dean laughed a bit. “Fine, I’ll eat the food.” he said, and he took his first bite. Sam was dead on about the taste. Dean should marry Cas, right at that very moment, the second the food hit his tongue.

“Damnit Cas, I should marry you.” he said, before he even realized the impact his words could potentially have.


End file.
